Who out there has seen The Avengers, easily the most anticipated film opening this year? Yes, I know that it has only been in theaters, in Utah, for about sixteen and a half hours, but I thought I would ask. So, those of you who have seen it, raise your hand.
Now, keep your hand up if you didn’t see it in theaters.
Some of you are probably scratching your heads, wondering how people could have seen a new new new release without leaving the comfort of your own home. If you are one of these people, you obviously don’t understand the information age, and I am rather impressed that you have managed to find and read my blog.
Still, to clarify, anyone who still has their hand up pirated the movie at home — which, really isn’t that hard to do; the film has been on the internet for about two weeks now.
Anyway, that was all lead in to why it is okay to pirate movies.
Gasp!!! Did I just say that?!
Yes, I did.
Now, let me tell you why I said it is okay to pirate movies, particularly The Avengers (which I haven’t pirated myself).
There are two simple answers for why you should get on a bit torrent and steal this film. !) Hollywood. 2) People.
First, let’s face it, most people hate Hollywood. They hate the fact that actors get paid millions to play pretend, that hundreds of millions of dollars go towards making spectacles, or that advertising can now be force-fed to you, even if you just paid ten dollars a ticket to see a movie without being interrupted by commercials; of course, let’s also not forget about the fact that it costs close to ten dollars to go see a movie in theaters these days.
So why not steal it? I’m paying almost seventy dollars a month for internet service, which is just about seven movies that I can download and watch at home. Why should I care if the studio doesn’t get my money?
To be honest, I shouldn’t.
You see, before I get into the second reason people pirate movies (the reason I tend to), I’m going to be frank: I’m not trying to make people who illegally download movies feel bad, and I’m not going to turn around and make you realize how wrong it is. My wallet getting raped by Disney, Paramount, Warner Brothers, Universal, and all of the other studios is what is wrong. No, I am being completely honest when I tell you that you should pirate these films if you can’t wait to rent them, or if you are 99% certain they won’t appear on Netflix (because, let’s face it, movies you want to see somehow never manage to make it to the streaming section of Netflix).
So, back to Hollywood.
Hollywood takes advantage of people. You and I have a natural tendency to want to dream and experience escapism. Reality sucks. Our lives suck. As a result, we want to go sit through a two hour film to suspend all disbelief. Hollywood knows this, and they know it well. So well, they know they can charge close to ten dollars a ticket and we will foolishly pay it so the rich continue to get rich off of the poor.
Looking at The Avengers, I do like most of the actors in it. They are all overpaid, though, and are worth more money than a person who plays pretend should be worth. I don’t feel like giving them more money. Same with the director/writer, the studio, etc.
They just don’t deserve it, as far as I can tell.
Bottom line on this poorly articulated issue: just because society put you on a platter doesn’t mean you deserve to be there. You are a celebrity, you are not special.
As for the second reason to pirate a movie (People), that’s easy.
When was the last time you went to a theater? It’s full of loud, disgusting, smelly, obnoxious people who chew too loudly, have poor personal hygiene, laugh like a hyena, and talk on their cellphones. It’s like high school all over again. Why should I have to pay to be stuffed in a rather uncomfortable seat between two people who somehow missed the climbing up the last two rungs of the evolutionary ladder, just to watch a bunch of computer generated imagery; especially if I can watch the same thing in the comfort of my own home?
Simple: I shouldn’t.
I should not have to pay to experience torture of such magnitude (I’m really not into that sort of thing). I should be able to watch a movie on my terms, and if I pirate the movie to do so, so be it.
The day someone can prove to me that my pirating one film actually hurts somebody (not in the hypothetical, grand scheme, but actual tangible evidence), I’ll reconsider my position; but, in the meantime, enough people are “moral” enough, and stupid enough, to keep going to the movies that if everyone who reads this blog, and all of their friends, were to go and download The Avengers right now, nobody would really notice or care, except for the people who waste their lives monitoring such things.
So, yeah, go and download a copy of The Avengers, or Cabin in the Woods, or The Hunger Games, or any Hollywood release that’s in theaters right now. I won’t judge you. I’ll more than likely join you.
(This has been a poorly articulated rant)